Nature vs Nurture and the Power of Genetics
This is the “I get that from my daddy episode.
Do you ever look at your parents and see yourself in them. What’s their reaction when you do something that reminds them of you? In this episode of Black in the Middle, the crew recalls times when they had an epiphany that a behavior of theirs was genetic, when saw something in their children that resembled themselves and really dive into what they think is caused by nature and not nurture, and vice versa.
Finally they discuss family curses and the myth and the truth behind them.
Hosts & Guests
This is your host, Tim. Travis Herman. And the topic of today’s episode is the power of genetics. Herman this was your brainchild. Why don’t you give a quick introduction on what we’re going to talk about today? You know, the influences of us genetics, you know, do we believe in it? The power of it, I guess. Uh, the tree, you know, it’s the apple. How far does it fall? You know, those kind of conversations? Um, I think for myself and I speak for the rest of the crew, like we sometimes just you know, we look up that family tree and see things that are familiar, right? Real familiar. And so do our parents.
I can’t tell you how many times my mom has looked at me and say you just like your daddy. Why is it gonna be so angry? I’m guessing that’s not a compliment. What kind of mistakes were you making town coming in all late? So many coming into can’t really even say because they put his pops on blast. Who is an avid listener of the podcast, Right? Shout out, Shout out to back one. Um, but I mean, that’s a It’s a It’s a It’s a fun question we always talk about it, comes up all the time in our conversations.
I know it comes up in my crib. Um, but, you know, do you ever look at your parents and see yourself in them? That is so funny, Like so it’s like it happens over time, right? So I’m like, I was very much like my mom for the first. How 20 plus years of my life. 22 right? My mom’s super kind, outgoing, kind of sort of fun. Everybody loves my mom. Everybody loves me as I got older. I’m like, more like my dad, like you will catch me wearing the same thing all the time because I’m out here trying to save money.
I don’t care what they’re going to say, uh, you know, just being much more frugal in my way and, you know, doing all for my kids and maybe a little less fun now. But, like, I feel like I have ebbed from one parent to to the other. That’s funny. I never thought about that way. Oh, yeah, man, I definitely look at my parents. You know, I believe kind of heavily in this topic that you know what’s good in me is generally from my parents And what’s bad with me?
It’s generally from my but like, uh, yeah, I look up and I see things, you know, like my I look at my mom and my personality type is kind of more like hers. And then I look at my dad and my mannerisms, my behaviors, or I kind of resemble him. And I’m just like, uh, that explains it. I just don’t know. I just don’t know, like, so The thing is about nature or nurture, and I’m like, I feel like so much I know about my parents is just from what I see, like, you know, necessarily recognize what you’re watching when you’re young and growing up.
But then it all kind of starts to make sense. So I’m like, Is it genetics? Or, you know, are redefining too much of ourselves, So, like, aesthetically, we should look like our parents they made us. But how we our personality? Yeah, like those things are probably, I mean, obviously those would be. And so from my perspective, there’s certainly some things that are very much so nurture, you know, like certain interests and nurture. I love for the chiefs that’s cultivated my love for certain types of music that’s cultivated like I’m definitely there.
But there’s times when I do something and it’s like that, maybe explaining. I’m listening to my dad and he’s talking about doing this same thing. And I’m like, Wait a minute, you know that’s him. I’ll never forget. A funny story is where he came to my office and, uh, for some reason. And so he stops and he talks to my team, right? And we’re talking about McDonald’s, and at the time my lunch ritual was to go get to make chickens in a sweet tea because it was $3.
23 great rate on the dollar menu. So he’s he’s talking to my team. He’s like, Yeah, I’m about to go get to make chickens on the sweet tea and my whole life And they start busting out laughing And they’re like, He’s like, What? What’s so funny about that? Like, delicious. And I’m just over here. I got my hand on my head like, Oh my God, you know, I had no idea. I’ve never been with them on this endeavor. I had no idea. So then they look and they go.
Your son does that every day, every day. He’s like, I’m going to get to make chickens in the sweet tea and that’s exactly what it did. And I just looked at him like that’s genetic, like all of that is genetic, man. So that’s crazy. And you think about like, what? What part of your genetics or your upbringing made? You both go down and make that choice and create that habit, right? It actually even gets worse, because that particular day we I had on like, um, I don’t blue um slacks, and I had on a light blue striped shirt.
So he comes in with, like dark colored pants and the similar type blue striped shirt and like, the only difference is like he had on black. And then I had, like, brown shoes to go with it, and he’s like, Well, I wouldn’t war brown with But they’re looking like they’re like dogs. They look alike. They kind of sound like 100%. And they either like like it’s just crazy. So, like those and there’s other things that happened. But like that is the most blatant example of genetics that I can think of, man.
And if I tell him about the story, he, like, crack up because it’s true. I mean, And so I guess let’s unpack that a little bit because I my gut says that it’s not genetics, right? It has to do with the 18 years that he, you know, raised you right. He raised you to be fiscally responsible for before you both were ordering off the dollar menu. No matter how much money you have in your pocket, Uh, you know, go where I don’t have to tip. So maybe maybe the genetic piece you get the genetic piece was that you’re both black and you’re predisposed of loving chicken and sweet tea.
Oh, yeah, there’s some genetics in Southern roots. Yeah, I mean, but that’s, that’s like Did you so sweet tea? Was that a thing in your household? Growing up? It was. It was It was It was a big thing in our household. Alright, so there you go. You do? Does MacDonald still have sweet tea? Oh, yeah. Okay. It’s not It’s not great. It’s not. But it’s there. It’s on the dollar. Menu it. This is how much I said, That’s what I hate about TV is like the straw is like all the way in the bottom, like it’s not cold, you know?
You guys ever get that? You gotta pull these draw up to the top. Where’s on the ice? On the surface. Is that just me? No, that’s factual. It’s terrible and actual. All right, Um, you know what’s funny about this topic is I think about my parents and what I get from them, and I’ve said this before. My mother and my father are the exact same person, just female version and male version, and so I literally get all the same traits from both of them there, their temper, which can be tempered down a little bit.
But when there’s like like, like things that just, like, set them off like stupid people not having common sense, bro. We all lose it, Can’t handle it, can’t handle it. I get that from them. Um, you know, are the the entrepreneurship side of us. They both have it. That’s where I got it from. But not in a sense, where I saw my dad started business where I saw my mom started business. And so I I wanted to do it. It was just It was just in a It’s just in my nature, um, and I think it comes back to the hustle mentality.
You know, growing up, my mom had multiple jobs to provide, you know, my dad, you know, worked a couple of jobs, um, always hustling, always having a side hustle, you know, to have you know, multiple streams of income or whatever, or just make ends meet. And so that that is definitely a part of who I am. Um, but I can’t really think of anything individual that I’ve got from one or the other because they are so closely like it’s funny personally, Like when I think about like what I’ve gotten for my mother.
Um, her temperament and it’s it’s, you know, kind of calm. Kind of. She’s kind of she’s very pleasant. Um, she doesn’t give you outward opinions, you know, It’s kind of when the situation, um, asked for it. You all know my father. He’ll give you the opinion as soon as he meets you, and so that’s kind of that’s kind of a difference. But like, I don’t think I observed those things. Maybe I did. Maybe it was nurture, but I never looked at my parents and said, Hey, I’m I want to resemble that, Um, I never looked at my I’ve looked at certain traits and be like, I never want to do that.
And then there’s also other things I’d be like. I can’t believe I’m doing that, you know, because they did it. But like so that’s where I kind of think the nature part kicks in from my from my mother and my father just because although they were goals and I’ve talked about them in being idols, I never truly wanted to be like them. But somehow, some way, a lot of ways I do. I think it’s So, like, for me, I feel like a lot of who I am today is nurture.
Um and I think that’s probably early on. I knew that I like my dad, doesn’t have a business. He could pass down, and I was like, I’m not going to go to medical school to be there. But when I think about the things that that matter the most, it was My parents always had me in positions that would give me value in myself. So, like if they were going out to a super nice dinner, they’d always bring me and my sister. So we feel comfortable in this place.
If they were having a meeting and they’re going to be high level people there, they don’t give a shit like we were gonna be there. We deserve a seat at the table and then, you know, so certain things are normal. So, like, man, I’ll never forget. I got this tax bill that came from Louisiana when I lived here, and they were like gonna freeze like an account or something. And so one of the things my dad would always if there were problems, she was like, Well, I’m just going to call the president of Verizon because this is bullshit.
I’m going to call the president of the United States because, you know, like, those kind of things. So what did I do with that textbook? I call the governor of Louisiana’s office, and I left a message that sounded just powerful. This is Herman Watson calling from Kansas City. And you I shit you not They called me back and they got that shit straight in two days. Yes. Yeah, I couldn’t believe it, but it was Yeah, it was just normal. So, like when you say your name and then hit that James Earl Jones just man more. Yeah.
My name is Herman. What? This is Herman Watson, and you guys have made some mistakes in that office. We need to talk immediately. You know who I am? So Herman Watson from the Kansas City. Watson’s funny. Yeah, but it’s definitely a learned behavior, but it’s all that at a time when you’re living consciously, right. Like it was a point to where you’re living, going through your life as a kid. And you have no idea what’s going on around you don’t. But at the same time you kind of absorb it.
Yeah, it’s like what it’s like. Everybody respects my dad like that’s the thing. You see, I’m like So part of it is your the nurture part is your dad and their actions or your mom and their actions. But I think that what has the most impact is how people respond to them. If you see your parents getting respected and the behaviors that they’re displaying, then it’s like Okay, well, if I act like that throughout the years or, you know, maybe you don’t notice when you’re like six, but you’re not noticing that and you’re not consciously saying, Well, I want people to act like that around me.
So I’m going to act like that like we’re too young, man. Maybe which we’ll jump to kids. Um, but well, I think one of the things that can help you tell if it’s nature or nurture is not are not as if you are acting or doing something, and you’re desperately trying. You’re trying not to do that like it’s just inherent and you to do that, like so you’re you’re I don’t know if it’s subconsciously, um, making doing behaviors or anything like that. It’s your d n a.
You know, like, because there are things that I’m trying to be like. I am not going to do that. And it’s in my makeup or d n A. So All right, let’s, uh, let’s let’s go down the d n a route. Let’s talk about black people. I know this ain’t on the script, but well, I have loyalty and royalty inside my d n a Just for the record, so All right, we’re all black men. Uh, let’s talk about predisposition of health issues. Um, high blood pressure, diabetes, high cholesterol, diabetes.
What is this list? What we do, you have it or you asking like I’m asking. I’m asking you guys. Is it in your family? Do do your parents have a check? Probably. Yeah. Yeah. So that’s DNA. Like that’s like, Is this episode hipaa compliant? Not now. Well, in the family, I’m going to go up two levels and say Yeah, Okay, um, let’s go a little bit. Maybe more controversial. Let’s talk about like, uh, alcoholism or addiction. No. So you guys don’t have that in your family Alcohol?
Probably somewhere. I mean, I’m gonna say Yes, right. We got bigger families. So So, Yeah, I ain’t got an uncle somewhere. Exactly. Direct family, direct family, no good extended family, cousins, uncles and start getting the cousins. Cousins? Yeah, check, but and so that’s still d n A right. It’s still nature, but they’re not close to you to nurture you into that path. They might be depending on your family. Yeah, I mean, they could be up, but talking to you guys specifically, um, so maybe that’s that’s probably a reason why you don’t have those.
Same traits I would think is because you don’t have the nature and the nurture. I think they go hand in hand. I guess everybody got an addiction. Mind just doesn’t happen to be alcohol or drugs. You know, I’m addicted to other things, and I’m sure savings saving money, living better. Uh, it’s also like that. So, like my dad, like, my dad was never a drinker, you know, like he couldn’t like he’d be on call going to the ER. So, like like I never saw him up with Yeah, it wasn’t so, you know, it was so like I don’t know.
So, like, your family nucleus right? Like your parents. It just I don’t know. But there’s so many things that just didn’t happen. Yeah, and drinking wasn’t a big deal in my house. You know, my parents would occasionally have a beverage. Um, you know, periodically. But it wasn’t like it was something that game playing their night around. I can’t wait to get home and have a beverage. Or, you know, I had to come with their dinner, or it’s Friday night. So it was never like that in my household.
Which is probably why to me, it was always an arbitrary thing. And when did you guys start drinking? If we stay on alcohol thing 21 who listens? I’m just kidding about that was going to say 21. No, but actually, you had some. You had some influences. What we both had Yeah, all I would say is my mom did tell me once. She was like we had talked about alcohol and she told me she was like, You know, you might be predisposed to be to handle a lot of alcohol, because on her side Oh, really?
Yeah, Yeah. Come back, dude. So, like, my first time drinking, I drink a lot, and I was kind of fun. I don’t even think I have a hangover. And it was like it was not saying that first time. So, actually, that’s a really good point, because me, my father and I, we we, uh how do you say process alcohol in the same way in the fact that we are out for 48 hours afterward? Okay, Yeah, that’s what Tim was late. Um, so But, you know, in my household, growing up like with, you know, my mom and my step dad to you know, the same too, to your point.
To you. Like they drank, like when they had, like, a dinner party or something. Or, you know, margaritas was the thing in my household. So, like, family reunions or whatever, you know, Uncle would bring over, you know, the mix or whatever. And we’d have margaritas, they’d have margaritas or whatever that was like. The only thing that we weren’t they weren’t big wine drinkers. Maybe some beer and like a Sunday. But it just wasn’t a thing. And I think that really impacted how we responded to all of the crazy ass white kids We went to high school where they were sneaking into their daddy’s liquor closet.
Getting drunk off of peach Schnapps and trying to get people to buy them beer like that just wasn’t a thing for us. And I wouldn’t think that was an option, right? And well, and that’s that’s also a point because we knew we get our asses whooped if that was a thing for us. But I had no desire, like literally opposite of it, right? You know, obviously that contributes to a lot of a lot of things. Contribute to that football and f c A and being snooty and you know, all that good stuff.
But there just wasn’t, uh we just never saw a benefit or gravitated towards it, and I think it is. I think it’s definitely the nurture part of just how we were raised, you know? Yeah, I agree with that. Or the middle part of the I mean just the middle part for black people and generally, right, like we can’t live loose like that. Yeah, that’s risky behavior for us. I think we felt like we couldn’t, but I think, but that would be the nurture people. But that would be the nurture peace so simultaneously.
While I was learning things from my dad, the other thing that I always kind of saw my dad was him also being the only the only person at the boat and a boat slip. The only person getting questioned. The only person, you know, like all these other things, are just kind of, like, prep you for what life might be like. So it also feeds into behavior. Yeah. I mean, in my my dad and my step Dad, we’re both pretty adamant about telling me what not to do.
Like setting boundaries like you are black kid in the middle of the summit, all that shit that your little white friends are doing. You can’t do any of that. Hello, white girlfriend you got. You need to get rid of her. Your stepdaddy, bro. I will never forget, bro. He would give you the word I will never forget. You know, when? When I was dating Crystal Moore who just recently passed from cancer, um, are hard thoughts and prayers go out to her family. Um uh, you know, she was a grade younger.
So with Herman’s girl at the time and when we went to college and turned to 18. Like that day, My step dad was like, Yo, you got to get rid of you. Can’t be 18 dating a 17 year old, Not in Missouri, not only summit that ain’t going down. And I was like, What are you talking about? I’m gonna arrest you right now. Shit out of me, bro. But, you know, But I’m like, you’re like, what we’ve we’ve been dating for, like, two years. Like That’s not a thing, but their experience was that was a thing.
You saw what happened to Emmett till Exactly. I know. And that’s and yeah, so you know, the whole nurture thing and, you know, rearing kids and all that stuff like it’s just crazy. How? How much impact, like one conversation can have or how much just observing behaviors can have over a lifetime? Absolutely. All right, So until you put a question in here, do you believe in generational curses? What? Give me an example of a generational curse, and then I’ll tell you. Well, a generational curse. Um, exhibit A, the movie, The Five Heartbeats.
Okay, Eddie Kane, Jr. All right, so if you’re not familiar with the five heartbeats. I suggest you just periodically scroll through B E t and wait for it to come on. Oh, my God. But if you are familiar with the five heartbeats, you will fill me on this one. Eddie Kane Jr. Singing with the five heartbeats. He’s the lead singer. Um, everything is going very well. And then he goes and tells his father, you know about how well it’s going and his father basically says, You ain’t gonna be a shit, cause I ain’t shit, which does something to his confidence.
He’s basically starts when things go bad. He doesn’t feel like he can change it. He doesn’t feel like he can do anything about it instead of just perpetuates a cycle. And then things do go bad and things do happen. He does wind up losing this opportunity. It does wind up in people getting hurt, and he winds up a very dark place. And so curses handed down generation generationally within the family tree. So that’s an example of a generational curse. Um, from a, uh, fictional story. Uh, instead of putting somebody’s life on, I don’t know if that’s a thing, man like uh, if you look back at how many, So the family used to be a lot bigger, so you know, not everybody would be cursed, right?
Like there are similarities or things that could happen to. But there are. There are families that, you know, that was going to be a generation gets locked up and the next generation gets locked up or absolutely. But is it a curse or is it a cycle? That’s but that’s the question is do we believe in it? And what is your thoughts? So my thought is the inverse true if you have success is success generational? Absolutely. Uh, but when it falters, that’s the hunt Family. Mhm like like Like I think maybe you’re getting stuck on the word curse, but it’s it’s a thing.
I mean, it comes back to guess what I’m going to say. Systemic racism. Uh, I was told that there’s not a thing. You guys were there. Well, just like 20 minutes ago, my cousin called, right. And, you know, he, uh, we were talking about, you know, just getting up to date, you know, he just moved back down to Florida with my grandma and his sister, and he started talking about, like, he got a new job, which he worked at before when he lived down there. But he just got into, uh, he he lived in Kansas City, like, for the last couple of years, and he had a great job.
He was, uh, with the landscaping company making good money, blah, blah, blah got ran over on a hit and run. Jesus, um, had, like a you know, like his brain was bleeding. His heart had a cutting. It broke his like hip. I mean, he was, like, on his deathbed. He recovered, But you couldn’t do his landscaping job anymore, right? So doing good. Finally on his feet. Doing good, paying rent, Boom. Something horrible happens back at the bottom. Now, you know I can’t go to, uh, you know, fix your legal issues.
So now you have more legal issues, don’t have any money because you don’t have a job. So now you don’t have a crib like this Has been his cycle since he was 18 years old, 19 years old when he left home, and he’s had people to look up to, like, you know, myself and, you know, his mom and his step dad and my dad, but he’s never been able to break the cycle and the thing, and I was like, Man, he lived a rough life and that’s what I said, like joking.
But seriously, he was like, Yeah, you know, same life. My dad lived same life. My brother lives. And and while we’re prepping for this episode, literally, he’s saying this to me on the phone. So it’s Yeah, it’s hard and there’s there’s tentacles to that. So it’s definitely those type of things which, you know, um, sometimes nurture provides that, um, I know a guy where I would say this Maybe nature right is because this is not a not a black dude. Um, this is a white guy used to work with, uh, we’re talking in conversation and he’s telling me, um, he’s got a little bit of a hoop game like he can play a little bit.
And so when we have little these little charity basketball tournament or whatever, we’re on the same team. And so you know, he gets rolling a little bit one day, and I started talking to him about, and I’m like, Man, you can Who used to hope in high school? I know. How many points a game did you average? He’s like I averaged 18 points a game. I’m like, Well, why don’t you go somewhere? Why don’t you do something? Like I blew my knee out and my senior year, So there was nowhere for me to go except for, uh, Central Missouri.
And so that’s where he went. Shout out to the mules. Uh, not done. So that being said, you know, he has, uh he has a son, right? And the sun is a two time all state cornerback. Um, three sport athlete, senior year, junior year. What happens, blows out his knee, is able to come back for a senior year. All state is able to go to an n A. I school. What happens blows out his knee rehabs from that, I’m going to come back again. I’ve done it once, blows out his knee, so that’s like three a.
C. L’s 33 of them. And then you think that you hear that it happened to Daddy too. Like Daddy could have got a small school scholarship. Probably, too. And I’m like, man, generational curse like that’s an example. It could be an example if that’s something you believe in because it’s just the same thing happened in the family like that’s just crazy. So if that lingers, is there a way to break it? Is there a story or like for your cousin? Yeah. Is there anything to change it? Like could he are there steps he could take all of a sudden, even hitting the Powerball boom money problems are over.
He gets his health back. What’s the likelihood that that would go back away? Would it be squandered Or, you know, like I mean, if we’re talking specifically about him, you know, real talk and, um and I played this episode for him, but it’s it’s in his nature. Two. I mean, that’s what I That’s what I know of him. And it’s in his nature, you know, going back to the point that were like like, you’re getting you’ve got knocked down so many times. Like to the five heartbeats like you just start believing that there’s no there’s no upside to anything that you do.
You always You’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop, and I think when you have that mentality. You don’t play to your strengths. You don’t take the opportunities or the risk that you want. So if he won the Powerball tomorrow, he would start a clothing line. He’s been trying to start one, but he calls his big cousin Tim, and then Tim tells him the realities of starting a clothing line and, you know, maybe the dream gets pushed back. But every time he calls, he brings it up.
So maybe he starts that clothing line, maybe become successful or, you know, maybe he doesn’t know how to do it. Maybe I help him, I don’t know. But I have a feeling that he would be successful for a while, maybe a lot longer while than normal. And in order for him to break that curse, he would have. I would have to hold his hand. I’m the only person in his life that he could trust to put him on the right path. So let me change my answer.
Yes, I think he could, but I’d have to take on another full time job, and so that’s kind of like my points. I’m like, if this is the thing that holds true, then isn’t on people that can do something to, like, proactively look to break certain cycles. If you know, then I have. He’s lived with me for months and months. He moved down to Florida when I was in school. I was taking care of him paying all his bills, getting him a job. He moved in with the men and I when we lived in Lee’s summit.
Him and his girlfriend moved in is supposed to be a night turned into two months so you can get off and get back on his feet. Get a job, get get going. I’ve, you know? Okay, that’s how they get you, though. It’s just nice. Okay, Okay. That’s the okey doke. But, you know, I’m there to bail him out, to take him to his parole officer, to to take him to his classes, you know, get him signed up for a g. D. I’ve been there, I’ve done that.
I’ve got the T shirt and maybe that’s why I have the pessimistic view if he hit the lottery. When? When I first answered the question, that’s a lottery ticket. That’s what you say first. All right, so I’m gonna take half. You play with the rest of this. So I was going to say, but you kinda went. There is the only way to defeat nature is too. Change your nurture. Um, but you kind of provided that right? And so therefore, the results. I don’t know if they’ve been effective or not, and I don’t think this is a place for that.
But I think that I guess the only way to answer your question is you can’t perpetuate the same thing. So you would have to change some dynamics and change your ability to get nurture in order to change the formula for success, but real quick. So here’s Here’s where I go now is that I went through a nurture period. Uh, I don’t let’s say 10 years where I was always there for him. Always paid for whatever I could always took him in whenever I could. I got to a point.
It was just too much. Yeah, because he would, you know, come out of it and then get back into it. Call cousin, come out of it, get back into it When I basically cut them off, he went through the same cycle came out of it. Oh, shit. I got a good job. That’s awesome, man. Keep it up. I got locked up. Can you bail me out? No. Oh, I got a good job. I’m out. I got paid my bills. That’s awesome. I just got ran over by a fucking truck.
Like So When I was there, it was the same result when I wasn’t. There is the same result. So yeah, that’s just one example of a billion, I’m sure. Yeah. And so, you know, I think my I guess my thing is, so if we know that we are predisposed to certain things or people, certain people in our lives are predisposed to things. Obviously. Stand up, guy. You did the right thing, but obviously, at some point, you have to do that. But when it comes, and that would be like, a nurture thing, right?
So, like, behavior. Um, but on the nature thing. So, like, my man with the knee. So if your dad and you know what happened to you and maybe his dad had bad knees to like, how soon do we try to counteract that? Like for our kids or the same thing with diabetes like diabetes runs in your family. Like how quickly are you, like no sugar, which is extremely hard on parents. It’s like everything. Every reward is sugar everything. But every time you do that, you’re hurting your child’s chance of a long, happy, healthy life.
So I mean, it’s real. It is real talk and it, But I mean it. It plays right into we know what’s there. So if you know, like if he if that kid right has a son and he wants to be in sports, Uh, do you or do you say no, you’re going to play the piano? That’s a good question. That’s a good question. Um, uh, It’s a good question. It just comes down to whether you believe in curses. Um, I know that it’s so it’s beyond that.
So it’s how it’s prevented prevention, right? Do you believe in preventing things that you are going to be pretty supposed to genetically? So I say this talking out of both sides of my mouth like, you know, my son is knowledgeable of things that are in the family tree. I’m not a good help trying to help them prevent that. It’s two cheeseburgers. His mother, his mother is better about that saying, Okay, you need to make healthy choices and stuff like that, and I’m more like it won’t hurt you.
This is what I used to have when I was your age. So I get you to make chickens, and so yeah, seriously, it was 3. 23. That’s a win. Uh, but yeah, no, um, I think it’s something we need to do. Like, I wouldn’t say just your whole life just learned how to play with the biggest knee brace possible or the prevention. But there’s a lot of things that we need to be looking at ourselves and getting in front of it. And so therefore so it would be like how how hard you push that child whenever they’re getting into the sport.
So it’s like, don’t kill yourself, necessarily. If you might have any issues or a tiny little just, you know, just work on strengthening flexibility, I don’t I don’t know, like it would take some type of, uh, deep dive into that, but, um, from you know, just a health standpoint, if you know, like, I know people who have different types of cancers that go in their family like, uh, you know, like, prostate cancer. And, you know, they really focused on checking that type of stuff to make sure Especially, you know, now that people we know are, you know, getting a 40 up, you know, they’re looking very hard and saying, Okay, I need to hit the doctor every year.
You know, no matter how good I feel, like I need to make sure I do these different things because so and so passed at this age and so and so passed, they start to look at these different trends. Absolutely. I mean, yeah, the health thing is, is a real thing, that’s for sure. Especially in I mean, that’s what we talked about it. Um, you know, my two of my grandparents, you know, passed from cancer. You are the one passed from complications of diabetes. Right? So that shit is prevalent, you know, in my mind.
And I’ve been getting checked ever since. Um, but, you know, kind of going back to the kids thing. It’s it’s interesting because we have to be. I think we are more. Well, I actually I wouldn’t even say more. I think My my dad and my mom were very intentional in raising me, but I feel like we are more intentional in a lot of a lot more different areas. You know, Um, at least I try to be. And if we can be intentional and raising them and nurturing them, then maybe we can prevent them from going down some of the past that we did or that our parents did.
I think we just I think it’s a battle that’s just so hard on so many different levels. It just is right, like all of the so there are so many forces going against us as parents going against genetic predispositions, right? So it’s like sugar is just an easy one, right? Like all black people are going to have diabetes like let’s just get that out of here. But if that’s the case, but everything that is marketed to our kids at every step along the way from radio TV, iPad watching YouTube, it’s all sugar.
And so it’s just so hard to deny them something that seems to bring so much joy, right, like there, feeding off of that or wanting that are like every McDonald’s like it just It’s so hard. So it’s like to be a good people out there doing it. I don’t know how they do, and they’re making you feel guilty on that. But I think that that feeds into so many other problems. For us, as parents like, it is more anxiety. It’s more worry. It’s like every time I give my kids something unhealthy, like they’re super happy and I love seeing them happy but also know I’m hurting them and it kills me and it’s like you’re killing them do And I’m like.
But you know, it’s easy to not think about these things like this conversation on genetics, because I’m like some of those things are so far in the future, right? So But the time to prevent them would be now right to create those good habits in them. Yeah, that shits stressful. It’s it’s a lot of work. Yeah, but what about the things that our behaviors, you know, the things are hard to those? The behaviors, you know, that is the challenge. When you see your son and you see your your daughter or your you’re looking at your child and you’re just like Oh, God, like that is me.
How do I help him? Do you guys ever have challenges, though, Like thinking like, Is it me, or is it just the same thing? So I’m like watching, you know, my kids do homework and homework avoidance. I’m like, Oh, that’s me. But I’m like, Well, shit, that’s probably everybody you know. Or it’s like the reaction of certain things I’m like, Oh, that’s me. But I’m like, if it was me, I probably you know, your kids like to draw. Yeah, see, I would have said before you said, Yeah, I would have said.
And Lisa loves to draw. She’s an artist like her daddy. But now I’m like all kids probably like the drawer. There’s one out of two that they like to draw right now, not all of them. But if we pulled our listeners, I bet at least 50% would say they have a kid that likes to draw whether the parent is an artist or not. I think you know what I’m saying. The nature part would be Can she draw? Yeah, There you go. But I guess the other thing she enjoys it not doing it but she had.
She has the skill to do it. So what is the difference? Pulling out something that is truly genetic, like a keep saying predisposition to to an affinity for art versus you, just like an art. She sees you drawing. She starts drawing. Or is it an eight? Like How do we decipher what is innate and doesn’t matter if it’s an eight? Doesn’t matter. She didn’t see me doing it right. I didn’t do it until she started doing it. Now we do it together because that’s something that she has an affinity for us.
I’m going to cultivate that right with this $20 procreate app that I bought on my iPad. So maybe it’s maybe create app is for drawing. But maybe it’s the Maybe it’s the genetics. That’s how she was made. Oh, wow. Maybe it’s the genetics that drives that. So, like, maybe there’s pieces of, like being able to the hand eye coordination peace to be able to draw well, right? So, like, maybe it is one and the same total feed one another totally. Her ability to look at that they have a vision and start articulating that the artistic side of the synapses in her brain.
And that is genetic. That is you. Because that is something that you had and you didn’t. It’s not like every day you were coming home and drawing in your your book like you were Rashad from a T L. So Therefore, it has to be It has to be something genetic. Yeah, because I didn’t start it with her. But, you know, just like my grandma cultivated into media, I’m gonna cultivate it in her. So we’ll see if that turns into, you know, her scholarship or whatever. Real quick.
I mean, she can’t. Hopefully she don’t, like, get carpal tunnel earlier. Oh, God. I mean, there’s no curse there other than she’s gonna get. She’s gonna get a teacher that says cartooning is not real art. Oh, Lord, there’s the curse. That teacher I’ll show you. I’m gonna go to fam. Have you guys ever gone back to look historically? At what, Your friend, what different parts of your family have done like in the past? Versus where do you Where do you go find that information? I mean, you like different parts of my family.
Yeah, like if you were to go, you know, I mean, we can only go back so far, but like, if you were to follow your lineage back to what they were doing in 18 70 which is when they started recording actual names and what not? Do you know where your families were? What they were doing? And then you get to where you don’t know. From that perspective, I do know from the stories that have been held handed down. Um, I am wanna sorry, I’m one of the great uncle started the chicken sandwich.
I’m sorry, I I’ve always been an active listener in these discussions when they’ve been, um, handed down from either my grandparents or down to my my parents. And so I have a good idea. And the fact of the matter is that my family and most respects had to work so hard doing jobs that you didn’t want to do. Um, that the first real generation of accomplishment is my parents levels, you know, on both sides. Um, I was fortunate to have a grandmother who decided to make a decision and go be a nurse and be a nurse.
Said General, uh to me, Children’s mercy hospital here in Kansas City. Um, when there wasn’t a lot of black nurses. Um, I don’t think I’m I won’t call her the first, but she was up there. Um, that was a privilege. But those are accomplishments, right? And so then that’s where the bar starts. So it just says you talk about generational curse. There’s also generation. Generational success is right, and that bar gets raised. And so for me, coming behind it’s like that is the bar you’re gonna limbo on is not what we’re gonna do.
Like, I have to high jump over that and set a new bar. Right? And that is where my brother and I can speak pretty, um, pretty specifically to those success stories. But that’s where we were like, Okay, we need to take it and take it to another level, because that’s the expectation. Yeah, but that’s why it’s so important that we that we know those things I’m like and I think I’ve said it before. Like, I found out about mine those two years ago, going to the family reunion in North Louisiana, where my answer says, founded a church, had started a business and a school and fast forward everybody.
Every other Watson man has been a business owner, been or had a high level of education, um, starter business, or been like a licensed professional like That’s just crazy. That goes back to 18 70. And I’m like, So when you think about genetics, I’m like it makes sense. But I have that to go back to, to drive me forward or like to to be able to tell my kids like, Hey, you can be something fantastic. Look, you have a whole lineage and so there’s so many, like there’s a lot of families in America.
They can go back and have that to hold themselves up with confidence. And there’s so many of us that don’t and it does matter for sure. I guess I should probably go find out. Yeah, you know, And I mean, it’s just it’s really interesting. So I don’t know if it’s a momentum thing like, you know, if you’re always waiting for something bad to happen, Murphy’s law is going to kick in. Um, and if you’re looking to strive for greatness or success, is that what you use it?
A mentality situation? And I mean that’s a good conversation point because I will tell you that, um on one side of the family like that was the deal. Everybody is going to be accomplished. And that’s what happened, you know? But that’s why those things stay so insulated. So, like, a lot of that stays within a certain family nucleus. Right? So, like, you can have that identity and a lot of people are very protective of that, Which is why they don’t let people into this nucleus of upward growth introductory, you know, Or you kind of exercise people while you’re trying to go down that path.
And I’m still like we’re talking about setting a bar. I’m still working every day to try to be better than my parents. Like I’m still working every day to try to reach their accomplishments and levels. Dad’s gonna listen to this, and he’s like, Oh, thank you better than me. Well, no, Tell me when you reach that point son pushing. I think what I’m trying to articulate his is that I just hold him in such high regard, like I I will never Well, I’m striving every day to be the parent that they were.
They are success stories and both of their industries, you know, So I want to be a success story in mind. It’s never been about the type of money that I made because, you know, the games are just totally different. It’s really been about just following that example that was set for them and they looked at that and said, OK, I’ll see you and raise you one And then the challenge was for me and my brother to see that and raise that one, and then it will be for the next generation in my family to see that and raise me one like that’s the whole goal.
So just as much as there is like generational curses, where people are having bad things happen to them, sometimes it’s because we talked about that. They’re waiting for that to happen. For us, it’s like, Okay, let’s be the best we can be. Whatever we’re doing, it’s not Money is the last thing we judge ourselves on. It’s literally about our commitment to the things that we want to be committed to, which should be success, greatness and family first and foremost, So I think that genetics powers the ability to achieve right at some level, like the like.
Being able to can be fuel like that is fuel. Like you don’t have to look back and see the failures. You look back and see the successes, but this can be a head start to. Yeah, but it can also be it could be fuel. It just depends on how you discern that information. Use that data, uh, and and and you and go with it. Like you said, Um, if you have people who are successful, it may fuel you to be more successful. If you see people were failure, you can feel you and say, I don’t want to be like that.
Like I need to change the trajectory of this family tree. So how many can go different ways? But it’s always interesting to me how one person you have multiple people in the same household, you eat the same food, you listen to the same music. You watch the same shows you challenge the same way you do the same chores and two cats come out totally difficult for different or in some people’s cases, like when they got five or six siblings, you all come out different, but But, you know, I’m fortunate.
You know, me and my brother are not the same, but, you know, pretty similar. But, I mean, I watch it all the time and I’m like, and maybe you all can speak to it. Like, how did you all become so different? Yeah. I mean, we’ve talked about, you know, even people close to us who have who have overcome, you know, the lack of nurture or, you know, negative nature points and have created greatness. Created, wealth, created amazing families, created success, reach success. And so they’ve broken that quote unquote family curse.
Um, and I think we could, you know, there’s there’s there’s some family curse, is that you know, um, I’ve probably have perpetuated, but there’s also some I’ve probably broken as well, you know? So I think it’s, you know, the hermits point. I think it’s important to know where you come from to know those stories, um that are the ones that came before us because that helps that knowledge it helps. This is what I focused on after leaving that situation. Uh, at some point, we are all not going to be here, and you start to think about your legacy and where you fit in in that world, genetically, you’re the nurture and what your kids are going to be left with to carry on your name.
And I don’t know, I just was like, you know, when they bury me Like what? What? What are they going to say that matters, you know, like, what are they gonna have? They’re going to have this ability. They’re gonna have this knowledge that they will have seen me do certain things and achieve certain things. And although they’re probably not paying that much attention today, I know that they are. And hopefully they will take that same energy into the future. So they would likely say that I only saw him in five outfits just like my dad.
What is my dad wearing right now? Scrubs? Of course. That’s it. That’s it. Uh, but I mean, it’s real. It’s a real conversation legacy. And will they remember the nature or they will they remember your nurture well and again, Like I said, they’ll have the genetics to do whatever they want, and I tell them that constantly the way that I’m nurturing them is hopefully they will see the hard work that me and Mom put in. And they will take that energy and applied in a similar way up.
And the genetics, I tell my son, Look, you’re going to be handsome, and people are gonna love you. The dimples you’re just going to show You just got to deal with it, man. You got to learn how to work with these gifts, and I’m completely joking. But like you’re you’re right. There’s things that, um you’re gonna have they’re gonna be left with, um and we just have to, you know, teach them how to use them. But it’s very the legacy is just so important. Um, and how you project yourself and how you use these different things and and how you’re going to be seen for eternity.
All right, So which one is more important? Which one impacts the success or failure of people? Nature or nurture? Nurture, nurture? I agree.
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