The Anxiety Episode and We’re Here For It
Anxiety is an emotion characterized by feelings of tension, worried thoughts and physical changes like increased blood pressure. People with anxiety disorders usually have recurring intrusive thoughts or concerns. We don’t care how strong you are or think you are, we all suffer from or have things that make us anxious. The crew opens up about what creates anxiety in their lives and how they deal with it on a regular basis. Tune in and let’s grow together.
Hosts & Guests
Alright, we’re back. This is your host, Tim Travis. And you know, last, uh, last episode was about Dr King. We just had Martin Luther King Day, um, leading into Black History Month. And, uh, I think this today’s episode is going to be pretty fitting. What do you guys think? Oh, yeah, e think it’s a great, great us. Um, transition. Let’s get into it. Yeah. This album is dedicated to all the teachers that told me I never amount to nothing.
So all the people that lived above the buildings that I was hustling from that call the police on me when I was just trying to make some money to feed my daughter on all the *** in the struggle. You know what I’m saying? It’s all good, baby. But it was all a dream. I usedto Yeah, we’re gonna talk about dreams. Dr. King had one. Martin had a dream. Yeah. Do you guys dream like actual dreams at night? At night? I do have dreams. Yes, man. Not really anymore.
No. That’s so depressing. You need you need to get a deeper rim cycles of your sleep. Yeah, you gotta sleep long enough. Number one. That’s probably your problem. That probably is. My problem, actually. Know those come earlier in your sleep? Oh, what is early sleep consist of? When does that window? So he just goes 0 to 100 on their sleeps. Like down. Up? Yeah. Do you remember your dreams, though? You know, I do sometimes, um, at their vivid. Sometimes I got these dreams that are, like in HD, like four K clarity.
And I can remember him. Um, generally, they don’t make any sense. But then, like, it’s maybe several different things that I’m thinking about on the forefront that come together in one awkward setting. Yeah. Yeah. Minor. Always pretty weird. And they never really, you know, a associate, anything like real life, you know? So it’s not a dream that I would like put in to play, but they dreams. That’s when, like, my best ideas come out right. That’s where I live. That is yes. So much day dreaming some of the ideas Tim would like to know if you daydream where you’re on the clock already know Hey, but that’s where the best ideas come from.
They really do. And if you don’t believe me, just trust that they dio plenty of those. I mean, literally. I’ve gotten paid to listen to Herman’s ideas like That’s just that was my job for three e Think you lost money? First of all, that’s just rude. Second of all, Tim, you know, those ideas were dope, and, you know, they were very authentic and, you know, them shits were well thought out, probably poorly explained, But you know how to decipher them. That’s what makes you spell yells Bond special.
Yeah, And then he started writing them down, and then they became actionable talk in Year three. Oh, man. But no, I mean, I think you can attribute, um, or you could correlate dreams, daydreams with goals, right? And it’s the New year, everybody setting new goals and New Year’s resolutions. But I think let’s let’s go back like what? What were your guys is like big dreams growing up, going growing up, I wanted my dreams are often thought about, um, being a athletic star of some point. I don’t know.
It was I was gonna be famous, right? So I was gonna be Bo Jackson, right? So I was gonna be either Bo Jackson or I was gonna be a Christian. Too coy a or at night. So I was gonna try to perform like Mike. Anyone Taison Jordan Jackson wannabe anybody? Yeah. I wanted to be any of them. So that was like, what I would verbalize and say that I wanted to do early. Early on. So at what point did you realize that you would not realize those dreams when I wasn’t beating the white kids in basketball?
I knew Jordan well knew Jordan one gonna work, start checking them out. Okay. Um, you know, you know, early on I knew that the athletic dreams weren’t gonna be there. So then I, like, started pivoting and saying, Okay, like, I had athletic dreams and I also had, like, career dreams. And when I was young, my weird like dream was to be the weather best H r professor. I wanted to be a weather band like I would watch the baby. That was your boy. Hey, never lines up his hair, so no, he wasn’t quite it.
I’ve been waiting for him to come out crispy just one time since, like, since, Like, 1985. But like, I used to watch, like the Weather Channel. And just Look, look, this is the weirdest dude I would look, I would just watch the Weather Channel, and I’d be like, Okay, you know, in Sacramento is going to be 67 today. He was practicing, you know, but like, for, like, a career, aspirational. That and then the other thing was what I saw on television. And I wanted to be a psychiatrist at a very young age.
And the reason why is because I would watch, uh, Alan Seaver from growing pains work practice out of his home, you know? And I’m like, Oh, that’d be great. Like, I could just be a psychiatrist. And so outside of my athletic dreams, those were career gold dreams. That’s what I would think about that. Having a wonderful family like Bill Cosby and Claire Huxtable, Cliff and Claire. Wow, man. Yeah. So, uh, honestly, I can’t remember any of my early early dreams like, but I know that once, like my dreams like that I do remember they were all based around, like work growth, creativity.
Um, and it’s funny because a lot of those big dreams at the time, like I had no idea how to achieve them. It wasn’t until, like, probably 2000 and 10 that I started having dreams that I started actually put some action behind to realize, even though they were material things, they were like, gold driven. They dream type things that I actually achieved. I have most of everything that we’re a part of that set of dreams, but earlier on, it was like, you’re young. Um, your I don’t know. For me, it was just about money, stuff, certain cars, but way hydrant like, you know, me driving around in my Lambo.
And then fast forward your life takes certain turns, and then they become a lot more like All right, Well, what is the What is the practical dream, right? Well, when you’re a kid, you get asked that question all the time. What do you want to be when you grow up? And so then that is what your mind, I think wraps around and you start to really just manifest what you’re gonna be when you grow up and It’s always gonna be the greatest of whatever, um, path that you choose.
But, you know, for me, it was, you know, I asked that question. It’s like, Well, I wanna be I remember this specifically. I was on the bus and I lived in Kansas City at the time, and I’m in like, second grade and somebody asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up. And I was like, I either want to be like a basketball player or a football player or a singer. And the girl goes, You ain’t gonna be no damn sick. I was just like, crushing like you never heard me.
She’s like, she’s like, I don’t have to him, but like, you know, that’s the question. And I saw your dreams kind of get manifested around that was that a school bus or a city. But it was a school bus. Oh, damn, It was a school bus. It was another second grader. Rough out there checking me no Coca Cola commercial in my future. But I mean, I remember that clearest day because I was like, Oh, I am your first rejection. That’s why you ugly s e ain’t gonna be your friend no more, Man.
That’s funny. That’s what’s up. And I think we kind of touched on this before because you mentioned Lambeau like that was my dream. I had that on my wall in 1985 Lamborghini kun Tosh anniversary edition. That’s what I wanted. And they didn’t make it in a four seater e. Can’t put car seats in there, bro, but yeah. You know, my mom was always based on athletics from a very young age. Uh, Carl Lewis was Was my idol growing up? I wanted I wanted to be in the Olympics.
I’m still going after that dream, So don’t say anything. Right on. Don’t be shooting me down like hungry on the bus, E, You know, damn track now, but that was mine. But then, you know, like you said, you kind of start figuring out, okay, I’m not going to be taller than 58 Alright, Cool. Cool, Cool. Cool. Cool. Maybe. No, that’s not gonna work either. And but yeah, I never really had, like, work dreams that I think my dream was not toe have toe work. Like I just wanted stuff I wanted to mansion.
I wanted the Lambo, and that was it. And I just want to be famous, huh? That’s I’m still working on those. So it’s funny. So, like whenever I think about my dreams like they’re specifically tied to when I started going down the secret path, right? The book, that’s like, you know, whatever the power of positive thinking, Yeah, so but it’s weird because my eyes to fall asleep to that at night. But obviously I had I had also fallen all the way down, right, as far as, like, income and things like that.
So my dreams, which is just crazy to me that that they all came to fruition. So my dream of the time and I specifically written down was Anak your It TL working in a marketing agency in the city on Guy. And I think, moving out of an apartment, get a house and these were some very I mean, there were specific tangible, like when you think about like I had lost, like I had lost a good job. I was making nothing in comparison, and so my core needs, like my dreams, were literally taking care of my corny court needs in a very like I don’t know.
Like that Acura. I know it’s going to go for I know it’s gonna last long time. I was not gonna need much here. Did you go? Right. But it really didn’t take that long between those dreams that were that specific and actually achieving them, it was an interesting path. But I got there. And now it’s like, what are the new set of dreams? E I would consider those goals and dreams, but that’s the weird thing, Because But they were daydreams. And so I’m like, a piece of it was just where I was at in life.
So I’m like, I would dream about driving the TL because the tea out that I had was, like, old and run down. And, like with a little baby in the bag just just hanging on for dear life. Yeah, I’m like, I just need, you know, like they were just small, but they were achievable. You know, those air you’re growing up dreams? Yeah. Unique. Well, those people are driven by accurate. Um, I was lucky. I was able to hold on to a couple of my dreams for a long time.
Um, the psych being a psychiatrist, I gave that up. Probably junior in high school. And it was only because that the journey I was like, Oh, my God, I’m not going to school for eight years like we’re gonna pivot here the football dream. I held on to that until I was probably 20 one. And then I just decided that I was able to look and be like, OK, like you need Thio. Come up with another backup plan, right? Because the odds of you going from being a college football player to the pros, a slim and quite frankly, um, from a talent standpoint, you might be good enough just to get a tryout and then you have to get some breaks from there.
So, like, you start getting more information about how to achieve that dream, Well, I would go to the Chiefs games right like it’s been documented. I’m a season ticket holder and there comes a point when you go to the game and you’re looking at it at a different level, and I was looking at it as if it was game film and not as if it’s not like a fan. And when I looked at it, and I’m watching people way bigger than me way better than me out there Getting worked.
I’m like, we better get this masters degree Way need to work on that. Let’s let’s tighten this up. So I mean, I was fortunate. But then, you know, life happens And, like Herman talks about your dreams, pivot as you become an adult. Yeah, definitely, Definitely. Definitely. I mean, in high school, my my dream is definitely transformed. I mean, I still had the goal of, you know, going to the Olympics until Byron Gassaway blew me away in the 400 Herman started beating me in long jump. I was like, Okay, well, this isn’t really gonna happen, so I’m just trying to go to ST, um you know, the football side.
You know, I lost the NFL dream. I mean, you know, I always envisioned I was Randall Cunningham or Warren Moon, but you know that that went away when I try to walk on it. Fam and I was the most athletic, Uh, you know, walk on. But I was the shortest and the smallest eso those things. You ain’t to 20. They just don’t go together. Um, but I did pivot in, in in high school. I wanted to be a cartoonist. I want to be an illustrator, comic book illustrator and create cartoons.
And and let’s talk about people who shot down your dreams, so t you already mentioned one, uh, black. You’re on the school bus? Yeah, Mom was my, uh I’d be art teacher. She said, you know, cartooning is not a real job. It’s not real art. And that broke me like like lightweight broke me. I mean, I was still trying to do my football thing, but I stopped, you know? And, you know, we’re drawing. It’s like most skills. You don’t use it, you lose it. Uh, who’s your biggest?
Uh, you know, antagonistic. It’s actually funny. One of things I forgot was like my whole thing. My whole reason for cause I want to do is write commercials. That’s what I want to dio. But I also had opportunity that took me to Louisiana That kept me in a field that wasn’t marketing related. So opportunity, right? Like I came back to cancel. You’re trying to get on with any marketing agency that would have been that would have allowed me to be creative in that way. Nobody, none, Literally none.
Nobody was interested. And I was like, Damn! Like I think it’s just interesting how people crushed our dreams and because they don’t believe in us. And it takes a certain sense of courage within oneself to just believe in yourself and and rebuke that theory. Because the fact of the matter is is that, um, Daniel was right. Singing singing was not in my, uh, in my future. Um, however, you know, there’s other dreams and there was so many times I was told what you can’t do or you you, um not that good at or was tried to be put in your place by others.
And, man, what happens if I What happens if I just that say, You know, screw that, and I’m gonna do this and follow that because I think like the talents of you artistically, you have great talent, and I’ve seen it, and you definitely could have made a great career by following that path. Yeah, on I appreciate that. And I think that’s true. And it comes back to, you know, maybe it comes back to passion or conviction because you look at Dr King and his dream. Millions of people told him that she is never gonna happen like go back home.
Uh, but his conviction, his passion and his intelligence, obviously, you know, allowed him to keep continuing to pursue that dream. I mean, he died for it. Like I’m not going to die to be a cartoonist. I don’t think you were going to die to be a singer, But if you were, if that was like your true passion, then you probably would have asked moms like, Can I get some singing lessons or join the church choir or, you know, stand on the corner room and just sang Cem some tunes, You know, that gets, um, practicing or whatever. Right?
So I guess the question is, what dream did you have or do you have now that you would die for damn it. My dreams were so practical. I don’t even know like, Well, it’s funny. So here’s the thing. So my limited edition looks Yeah, right. Oh, man. So the dreams I have now, I just when I say like I no longer dream, it’s mostly because, like, they’re not actually nightmares but they’re mostly about, like worry for my family. So, like anything, I dream up. It’s about in defense of like, the kids for you know, those kind of horrible things where you wake up in a cold sweat like, Oh my God, like, thank God that shit wasn’t riel And so, you know, it just I don’t know nightmares is another episode, which I’m sure you will be like, Oh, it’s going very elegant.
It’s gonna be dark. I think that to piggyback off the family side if there’s anything I’m super passionate about from a dream standpoint, is that I enable my family to be, um, close knit, be strong and allow my son to be all he can be and that I am a catalyst for his dreams because there’s so many things that I have had almost 40 years of opportunity to accomplish. A lot of different things. I have tried and I have failed, and I have succeeded. His life is just now beginning, and I think about this question and I’m like and I think about our interactions and I’m saying to myself, Why do we kill dreams?
Is because we don’t believe it’s not about what I believe in somebody else. It’s about what I could help him believe in himself And what I can inspire others to believe in themselves so they could be the fuel to go. And and so when I’m thinking about whatever I dream about, you know, I have definite dreams for myself. Still, you know, I think about what my house would look like. I think about what car I wanna have attained. I think about where I want to go and who are you and what I want to do and who I wanna go do that with, um those air, the realistic dreams that Herman talks about now but like my ultimate, what I really sit back and think about is so I want to play in the NFL.
Like if I asked him what he wants to do. He says I want to play NFL in my head. I’m like, you need to plan B in my heart. I’m like, you push him to the point where he makes that decision on what he wants to be. And if he doesn’t wanna be that, then we’ll pivot and follow his next dream. Um, e I mean, I don’t have time and energy to be following everything, but what I need to do is expire. A work, that work ethic and a confidence in him so he can go be anything he wants to be.
And then I can sit back and be is proud of him at that point in time, as I am at this point in time, so just real quick. It’s kind of it’s funny because I think that the one thing that’s really abstract about how dreams transfer into the real world. So, like your dreams on a future, what you want for your son is like it’s for them, for our kids, for family. It’s just so abstract, the amount of time effort like it’s just It’s like you could do that Well, like maybe he could.
We have no idea how his athleticism going to be at this point if you gave him all those resource is. But I’m like, I mean, he does. It’s going to take over a decade of commitment, and so it’s like, you know, part of you want to do that for you, but I’m like we can’t like He says he wants Yeah, you know, some, like it’s really hard, because then it’s like, Well, if their dream shifts, how does that impact you? Well, so a couple of things, Um, I think that we’ll go back to, like, our current dreams, dreams and goals slash Um, because I think that they are currently they’re not that grand, right?
Like, I think we’re over big dreaming, and we’re about the realistic What can we achieve that may be resembles an old huge dream or something that we had eso maybe. You know, maybe it’s not a Lambo. Maybe I drive a limo, I don’t know for part time, but, um era, that’s what. Yeah, exactly. And so But I wanna go back Thio to your son, to the kids. I think we we project right. We project all of our experience. All of our failures. All of our realism are pragmatic approach on them.
And we kind of we don’t become the dream catalyst that we should be If and we can’t. If your son wants to go to the NFL, we can’t just go about our everyday life where he can just go about his everyday life, right? Like all right, he’s gonna play Pop Warner or whatever. Or maybe he would play for the team and you know he’ll he’ll be whatever the coach puts him in, like, that’s gotta be the one goal that you and him focus on and you do everything.
I mean, I think you have to eat sleep, breathe that dream to make it a reality because we know the the statistics of making it to the NFL, right? And it’s a lot of work. Ah, lot of time and probably a lot of money because you might not have a lot of time when you when you’re talking about us inspiring dreams through others, especially the youth. Um, it’s the biggest thing you can do to save yourself. Time and energy is the outline. Exactly what is going to take the absolutely, And that’s where I was going to go Next.
You have you have to have that plan, and that’s and I think that’s, Ah, strength of Iris, right, being businessman and being, you know, having gone through so many experiences, we could build that road map. There’s enough research out there. There’s enough contacts that we have to say, all right, if This is your goal. You know, I know you’re only four or you’re only seven or you’re only eight. But you got to start now, bro. Like And how do you How do you convince them? E guess if they’re not that passionate you And that’s what that’s the key.
Are they that passionate? You know, I got a kid 19 who talked to and I’m like, You wanna be a doctor? Cool that you got to do this. You got to do this. You got to do this. And you can’t be, um, mediocre at this. If you want to be a doctor, nobody wants a doctor with a 3. 0 doctor Doctor, you need to be, you know, a little bit higher on the totem pole, and you outline those different things. And if there’s still hope for the challenge, it’s almost like you’re talking them out of it.
But it’s still up for the challenge. Okay, then let’s ride. It takes everything in my power, and it’s just human nature. Sometimes when you’re not completely sold on somebody’s dreams to shut it down. And I’m on over the recent memory. I’ve just tried so hard, Thio to not be that guy and more so encouraged dreaming. But take those dreams and put a plan together. Because you, if you push thes unrealistic dreams, which again they’re unrealistic to you. But you being the father and the guy with the wise one.
If you push that, are you wasting his time? Are you Should you be? Should you be putting in talent and time somewhere else? Would you be spending your time exploring other dreams? Um or, you know, are you Are you shooting them down? Well, when you shoot people’s dreams down, it really does do something to the confidence, though, don’t you think? Like the confidence for them to have a strong and vivid imagination. The come for this for them to come when ideas, the calm, the confidence to be vulnerable.
You know, when you do those different things, if you’re just constantly giving somebody negative reinforcement when they come to you with something, um, you’re gonna create personality types and traits that are going to suppress them when they comes time for them to interact with you, or even others outside who maybe resemble you. So if I’m a parental role, then maybe that parental role in the workplace is the boss, and they’re uncomfortable with the authority figure, you know, because of the way you handle these type of situations from a parental standpoint.
And I think even as a boss, I’m conscious of that. People come to me with wild ideas, and I when I hire people, I’m like, you have the ability to innovate like I want you to. I want you to be creative, right? And so they’ll sit there and they’ll dream in the sense of different ways to get the message across ways and the personal. And I’m a big I always say this. I cannot paint your picture for you. You have your canvas on Lee. You know what that picture is supposed to look like.
You can articulate that, so I understand it. But that picture is 1000 words and what it means to you and what you’re trying to convey, that’s your story. So you have to own that right? And so I like I can’t encourage innovation, not dreaming in the workplace, really. And then be some guy who shoots down every idea and say, Oh, guy, we’re gonna go my way with this. And so really, what I’ve been really trying to do is say, Okay, let’s paint this picture And then we talk through that I pressure tested to make sure it’s good, and then we go from there.
But I’m not a guy who likes to shoot down dreams thing that makes me feel real bad. So, like, I’m real practical about it. But so so, like what? I hope next, I was just gonna say that. So one of the things I always tell both of my kids and I was like, Man, you live in an age where anything that you can think of that’s a great idea. It can be created. And so I’m like, Dude, if you have some, let’s talk about it like I’m a creative dude like that’s create and social come down with ideas and like, No, that’s been done next, you know, like but I’m like, Oh, like my crushing her train.
Is that because the thing, whatever is happening in her mind, their coming up through her own creativity? Um, but, you know, I’m like, Hey, don’t waste time on that next, and then it’s like, Oh, but you know, I thought it was a good idea and I was thinking about in this way Same thing with, like telling that story, conveying that message, which fast forward. I didn’t even realize how important that was in my own life. But working together, I’m like, That’s probably the number One thing that I learned is how to truly be able to to say exactly what it is that is in your mind.
Like to put that on paper. There’s nothing more valuable. So her, um, I think that’s a great point. You know, I’m I’m thinking, and then this isn’t a parenting episode. We have one of those in the archive that is in the lost files, which made people see like, but, um, but I’m trying to think, like, how do we how do we encourage these dreams And, you know, not to encourage, like, put our dreams on them, but writing it down, creating a diary, um, you know, uh, documenting, you know, helping them express what those dreams are helping them find their creativity, their their creative outlets, inspiring them like I think there’s there’s things that we can do to foster dreaming so that they can come up with their own stuff and then how they know they know how to uncover the dream.
They know how to go for that dream, and they know how to identify for themselves. If it is right, or you know if it’s good for them or not, you know how to encourage dreams. And it’s like help manage their failure, right? So we’re not really molding their dreams or giving them, like play by play. All right, here’s your plan, but it’s like, you know, encourage them to go out with their dreams. But we know they’re going to fail time and time again. But if they can deal with that failure, if they have ah process or are mechanism in place to deal with that, then they don’t get discouraged and they pick up on another dream or another passion.
And they keep it moving. Yeah, so here’s here’s something to go back to my daughter real quick. What she is good at what she is exceptional at is kind of one of my dreams, and that is her creativity. When it comes to making cards. I know that sounds really whatever, but she is the literally the most creative and best person I have ever seen. Make a card for somebody else. She does these really detailed cars. She’s a pretty good jar. She’ll pull out like three, like, really special or unique things about that person and put it in there.
And that’s cool, right? So, like I’m like, Dude, like this is you could probably go work for Hallmark right now. Like that. Kind of like, Seriously, I’m like we had that conversation, like, literally, You live where one of the biggest card manufacturers is. They would buy this. I would pay $7 for this card that you just created. I get excited. My dream is like, Man, there could be a pathway for her. I make it cool. I’m like, Dude, there could be this whole thing and then she, like, is completely disinterested in it.
Dad, you messed it up. But I’m like so but I’m like it’s weird because then I dream about her. I’ve had dreams about her success in that field, which has nothing to do with what she wants for herself, And I just think that’s just she’s That’s cool. She’s finding, you know, he’s searching, Um, well She was just doing what she loved. Teoh, right? Like that, wasn’t it? You turned a skill set into a dream that she could monetize or you could monetize for her and she was like, Yeah, it’s not fun anymore.
Dude, I’m like, Shoot. It wasn’t until I told her how great it was, but like everybody kind of said it for a while. Like it had gone on for, like, a few years. And then she was like, No, I’m not gonna do cars for people anymore. Did you ever introduce her to an illustrator or a card creator? I did. I think it will come back. And maybe it isn’t like Maybe that’s it. Like maybe that’s like a little side strategy. It’s like if I drop snippets in there every once in a while, I wonder if they will turn into the dreams that could spark.
So Okay, that’s it. Let’s put a pin in that because I got a story for that. Um, but this came up recently, so my my son had his 2. 5 year checkup, and his entire life he’s been 90 percentile. Well, he’s been 50 percentile and wait 50% on height, 90 percentile and head circumference s. I’m like, I don’t know what we could do with that. So now he’s like, 50. He’s like his head is his. His body has caught up to his head size, but he’s still 50% everywhere, just wobbly. And so I’m thinking, Here’s what I’m thinking.
I’m like, Alright, if he’s 50% time now, the chances of that changing in his life are slim to none. Like I know, like some of the greatest basketball players, you know, group on entire foot between, like, sophomore and junior year. I get that, but it’s probably gonna happen somebody in my family. So I’m thinking back like what? What was what were my stats when I was a kid? Was I 50% out? Because I’m 50% out now then my dad know that I was gonna be average height, average size because if he did, why did he push?
Why did they let me play basketball? That was a waste of my time. Why? Why was that quarterback? That was a waste of my time. I should have stayed in soccer because height doesn’t matter. Its speed, its agility and it’s smarts. So I’m like, OK, it’s like my son’s gonna be gonna have my build, are gonna have my speed, But he has flexibility, which I do not have, so he’s gonna be way faster than me. So im already playing in his career, he’s gonna He’s gonna play soccer.
I’m a game in gymnastics, He’s gonna do some long distance running. He’s gonna be flexible, bro. So that’s my dream for him. I’m gonna push it on him, even though we said don’t dio way. But I’m a foster it right. I’m gonna show him, You know, the pale, a documentary I’m gonna show him. You know, Diego Maradona. I still got a few moves, Um, and we’re just going to see where it goes. So I just I’m kinda upset of my parents for not Fox, not pointing me in the right direction.
Now what? I have listened. If my dad said, yo, you’re not You’re not gonna be Carl Lewis. Okay? You too short. Your legs are too short the way. The way that works out in the 400. Yeah, You’re gonna be third every time. I don’t know. What do you guys think about that? Mm, Yeah. Go for it. I mean, you can try it. I mean, I’m not gonna tell you. I’m not gonna crush your dream and tell you not to do that is my dream for my son. Yeah. Implanted.
I’m not gonna crush your dream. Thio. Impart a new dream into your son. Um, it’s just it’s gonna come down to, you know, just packaging it. Gotta make them think it’s his dream, right? But, you know, like I know kids actually done that. Kids usually take on what are kids usually taking what their parents generally are interesting are interested in Yeah, generally dio like That’s probably only reason I liked basketball. I mean, I was never good. I was just fast and I could jump high, so I was a defensive player.
It’s funny. I was I was thinking about a one on one game that we played like as kids like me and Tim, because you had a goal in your Yeah, So I remember playing on your goal. Um, and I literally just the other day I was thinking about that, and I will say that my basketball dream was partially because of my dad. And the other part was be the come fly with me documentary of Michael Jordan. Yeah, had that to which I didn’t like Like when it came to like, Detroit vs Chicago.
I was a Pistons guy, but that documentary, I mean, obviously I was doing every move, you know, once we lowered the goal. Uh, you know, and just embodying that, but I wasn’t going to fly ever. That xyz less than likely makes me want to see the I don’t know. I don’t know how you would get data on it, but like the data on, like what? Parents pushing their kids and outcomes, right? Somebody studied it Well, you look at look at other cultures like the Chinese culture, like they push excellent, you know, whether it’s music or education or whatever.
And you know, if we go back to, like creating that plan, that road map, because they know what the roadmap successes, they have high success rates of creating. Well, so but it’s funny because those things are in the realm of things that can be totter learned, and I feel like a lot of our goals and dreams that are pushing us around athletics. And there’s so many things around that, like so many roadblocks like you’re either going to be tall. Short, uh, can jump high enough. You can jump, but if it’s around like like learning, I mean, that’s that’s also but it’s also an ability to, though, but that have the capacity.
But that’s kind of a flaw of us as a people, right is the things that are for the 1% are, um are those things like being an athlete being an entertainer And then you have other cultures, right? Who are saying my dream for you is the family business. My dream for you? Is there a lawyer s? Oh, they’re grooming. They’re they’re grooming the next person to take over the family business. It could be, um, anything from, ah, store of retail of some sort to, um, you know, being like, uh, um, them folks from Dallas and having global energy.
I mean, it could be whatever it is, um, but that’s where getting into wealth conversations, which we’ve had sidebars. There’s a different approach. There’s a different approach, and we don’t do a good job of sustaining these businesses and then passing them down which could be is a growth opportunity for us. Sure or ah. Lot of times, you are a licensed professional in the middle in a industry that you can’t pass down like medicine. Right? So you can pass down the passion and e said medicine, medicine, or like, you can’t pass down being a lawyer. Right?
But you can, but you can create the path, right? So, like, yeah, well, private school, right? Right. And tutors and summer camp. That’s ah, you know, Space Camp. So here’s the interesting thing. So, like, so I think my sister is a really good example of some. Like I just one of the things that that really stands out is s o. She always tried really hard in school, right? Like she tried just like you tried really hard. Uh, great grades on her A. C s a t. Her counselor said don’t apply to Harvard because no, they’re not gonna They’re not going Thio.
You’re not going to get in because you’re just like your just black girl from the Midwest is essentially what she was told. So obviously she was like, obviously I’m gonna apply to Harvard to get in and she wrote whatever great letter that she did and she had the grades and she got in. And it’s just like I wonder how much being told you can’t pushes you. But when you like in the capacity outside of athletics, obviously, because I’m like you can’t put like there’s limitations when it comes Thio sports versus just the hard work you can put into be anything that you want.
So a couple quick thoughts Sometimes when you’re talking about passing down, being a doctor, passing out, being a lawyer. In some of those cases, the kids see your grind, and that turns them off. You know, if you see your dad having long hours a zoo, ah, lawyer or as a doctor, that right there will turn, turn you off from that. And so it makes him go a pivot and go a different way. I mean, Herman, you could probably talk about 100%. So this is the one thing I knew about my dad being a physician.
Hey, worked way too hard all of the time, and he cared so much about his his, uh, patients, right, So, like Christmas Christmas is, he would he would go the hospital. So we do our gifts and then you go the hospital on Christmas to make sure that people were doing okay. I highly doubt any doctor would do that day. But like, that’s who he was. And I’m like, it made sense then. But I’m like, you know, I wouldn’t wanna be away from my family like that or like when he was really in the ER all the time, or like having to go random hours and night.
I’m like, man, that is not a life I’m trying to live that coinciding with We ain’t got no money. I’ll make a third of what these white doctors make, you know, like all of those things I’m like. Well, shit, that sounds awful. You’re gone all the time. You don’t make enough and that encouraging me encouraged. That’s not my Like, that is not my dream. And so it’s the other thought that I had Is that as we, um as we grow and we develop, you know, our youngsters, um, we sometimes just forget to explain the why and why we do the things we do.
And so when we don’t explain why, that’s a dream deferred because all they see is either a the end result, which is all the money or be the grind. And we don’t get a opportunity to connect those dots. And that’s one of those things way. Don’t we do that? I don’t know. I don’t know that we Because black people don’t communicate. That is a great point. It is a We do not share our feelings through the spectrum with a lot of non or miscommunication. Yeah, all right.
Before we jump to our current dreams, you know, back to the kids, kind of, uh, cap this off. Uh, I saw another article that just talked about, you know, give him parent them, or inspire them at a 10,000 ft view by giving them the values so inspire them, tell them to do good or to do what’s right. Um, and if you foster that creativity with the right, why, right, then the dream will come. And I think that’s ah, good strategy without I think I’ll probably take a multi tiered approach.
I’m gonna force a couple of dreams. I’m gonna foster some creativity, and I’m gonna, you know, really emphasized the good because there’s so much bad as we’ve seen over the last four years. There’s a lot of room for good people and good ambitions and good dreams, dreams that make the world a better place. Not to be corny about it, but it’s a real deal. Corny. Yeah, another thing about, you know, like having people kids dreams and you talked a little bit about, you know, all that’s already been done.
I think one thing that we can do is just make sure that we say, Okay, that’s been done. How do you make it unique? How do you make it? How do you put your own spin on it? And then that’s another way to have them retrospectively think about or introspectively, I should say, Think about how they can make a difference with that idea. You know, somebody thought about a cell phone and a couple models down. We get a razor, and then somebody was like, I could take this to the next level.
Now we got an iPhone, you know, and who knows what we’ll have People didn’t think the iPhone was gonna be successful. E remember the first time, my boy dirty, um, shout out to eat dirty. He was telling me about this watch that you could talk on and listen to music off of. And I said, Man, who wants to do that on their watch? Fast forward later. Got me. I watch. So I mean, just things like that. All right, go ahead. Oh, so it’s funny that you say that because one of my favorite, uh, books is how to fly a horse by Kevin Ashton.
And in in that book, one of the things he talks about is we’re standing on the shoulders of giants, meaning like you’re creating new things based off of things that have already been created. So, to your point, like, yeah, so, like some When I shoot that down, it’s like sometimes it’s just like a little tweak or a small edition, and all the sudden you have something new that everybody wants. Yeah, and the way to fly a horse is to pick the right character in Jumanji on. Then you can fly a horse like like Milo.
That’s funny. You recently watched that. No, I didn’t recently, but is burned in my brain. Still trapped for the cinema in that one. Um, all right, so what dreams, What big dreams you guys have Now you go first. All right. One big dream is I want to the vice president or president Level of a company of a big company. Um, so that’s a career goal dream, um, to have. And so I’ve been progressively working. Um, over the past 15 plus years, I’ve made the educational investment I’ve been making the career investment.
And now, over the last couple of years, I’ve challenged myself kind of differently because I’ve had that dream, like I one of those people who believe that their ideas are right and that believes that an innovation of different ideas on the way to do things. And so therefore, um, I realized that in order for me to be ableto have complete control, I’m gonna have to keep rising. And so that’s kind of that’s my career gold dream to do and and get to that level and have all the responsibility and the fruits and spools that come along with it.
So, I mean, that’s that’s just one off the top of my head. I mean, what? Let me push you a little bit or what? What’s that? What’s after that. What’s next? What? Well, dream bigger. First you get the money, then you get the power. Then you get the respect. Nah, um, I think that after that, then I’ll probably just start working on the different dreams that I have for personal. I mean, I I could do these things concurrently. Um, but one thing that I would love to do is I would love to have the I would love to have flexibility and schedule.
And with that comes beach house, house on some water. Um, something like that. You know, that would be really cool. Aspirational goal. Um, I think we could get to the point where I have Ah Aiken. Right now, you have a really nice house here and Midwest heard. Um, e I’ve been blessed. And, you know, if you pay yourself first, you’ll have the ability to do things like that. Don’t pay others over 2015, 20. And if you implement Travis Brown, pay for performance tipping toe all your way. Tool is a waitresses, and you too can stack cheese like me.
I’m just joking. But, you know, I think I could do that, but then it would be really cool toe Have you know the power to be able to call your own shots the flexibility to do that as well and have the ability toe, you know, change the weather when it’s snowing outside. Mm, Yeah, I second that. Yeah, I don’t have any. I do not have any dreams right now. I am solely focused. And this is like, not even a joke. I am not sleeping well, I am on Lee focused on accomplishing stuff.
But like I’m I know this is gonna sound Whatever. I’m literally living my dream Like my day in and day out is my dream Like I’m creating dope Shit, I’m being listened to I’m like, you know, being able to say yes or no to like it just it’s all like everybody’s kind of depending on me that my ideas are resonating. I’m having like, I just have a lot of success, like the success that I, you know, like it’s happening and people are happy. And so I’m like, I don’t know what the next big dream is, I guess the next, like big dream.
But like, I don’t even know if it’s a dream more than just like well, whenever I can afford the second house. That’s but like, that’s a goal. But I’m not dreaming about I’m like I’m headed there If I execute on my day in and day out, which I’m happy at except for it Xlat that is super dope in super wack at the same time, I know I’m like it, but it’s true. It is true. I’m definitely happy that you’re doing it. Oh, I forgot to dream. Oh, go ahead.
I have had this dream, right? It’s been in high def black in the middle is on Showtime and we kind of like, Come on, like after these are before Jesus and marrow on like we have our own. We have our own script. We have dope guest, And, like, this thing goes from, you know, the couple 100,000 listeners that we have now to like. We have our own Showtime. And then, like I got my own personal assistant where I could be, like, give me a chipotle burrito with So why why is my Perrier water hot like that would be like hella dope.
Yeah, man. I mean, that’s funny because you just named two of my dreams Uh, well, that’s where we go together. We just get his full on board. Non dreaming, don’t he? Don’t Night dream. He don’t daydream. First of all, Martin lives. Martin didn’t die for him to not have any. Oh, bro, That’s all right. I got plenty I could give to you. Her, uh, successful podcast that syndicated across the country. Uh, yeah. It turns into a video TV show. Like what? T say the beach house, Uh, that I would love to have a resort potentially potentially entire island.
Yeah, Resort. That would be like a family retreat. So we would do, we would we would make a make a resort with, Like, a bunch of casita does have a main house, have a pool right on the beach. And it would be for families. So, you know, there’s, like, packing players and there’s toys, and there’s WiFi. So if you need toe when it comes to my my resort and learn online, you can do that. I want to have a boat so that if this island is close toe like South Florida could just drive there instead of always flying.
I want to sell my company for no less than $10 million. Uh, in the next 5 to 10 years, Um, more realistically, three years for $2 million. But that’s a goal. My dream is 10 million. And then take that money, flip it, put it in some investments in real estate, and then build another company and sell that one for at least $50 million. And then all the rest of my dreams I’m going back to elementary school. I’m getting that Lambo. I’m getting that mansion and I’m a get, uh, tickets to the Olympics.
Can I just add real quick? Can I just I would rock. I’ll go. What you do Olympics e you get all that stuff because I can’t afford to be there to Terrible. So I will say one of my dreams. No, no, no. So that inspire you. This is from back in the day s o you that Martin Luther King. Hold on. This is gonna be two fold because I think that exactly what you said is possibly my problems. So one of my big dreams was to have my name on a building.
I know that sounds ridiculous. Great day. It’s not ridiculous. Why is it ridiculous? Because I don’t know if you could literally pay me a few $1000. I will put your name on this building, right? Yeah, but hold on. Listen to you talk about, it’ll be a It’ll be a window decals. But it was still on. The windows will be printed way. Don’t have enough enough windows, so I’m just gonna say harm. That’s okay. It’ll double up. I’m talking about where Stinson is that anyway, but it’s funny. Listen to you talk through all of those dreams.
I’m like, damn just listening. I’m like, that’s a whole lot to manage. That stresses me out. I don’t want that dream because I’m worried about how am I gonna manage? Taking care of the boat breaks down and I was stuck out there, and that s so I don’t know if you heard this, but like the Powerball was like 800 million. Yeah, I had a dream. I have dreamed of hitting that. Yeah, Yeah, I got I got a group. We playing the mega millions. It’s It’s almost a billion 700.
So I think somebody are you in the group? It’s a different group. It’s a different they they initiated it or you don’t give $20. Travis Way got another group E 800 million e. I got 21 way played like at 500 million. We all put in a tub and we lost. So then it went up again. We put another dub. Then we won. We won $4 so we reinvested that $4 and then we won again went $10. So now we’re reinvesting that in hopes of winning you on your way. Yeah. If you had a one that would be recording us right now, things black and middle is Travis.
Herman Scott teams out there living dreams. Tips on the island. No, but e can you guys hear me over the waves? I told my people at work, man. I said, if I would have hit that man like my dream is to, you know, I would have went e wanna would have found three models and dressed him up in garb and gave them rose petals and had them. I would have walked into work and had them throw rose petals on the ground as I walked in. Like I’m Jaffe Jaffer from coming to America on and I would have came in there and quit.
And then, yeah, I don’t know if it’s a dream or daydream, but yeah, I do feel like if I was to have that kind of money, I would be Ah, whole lot different as a person when it comes like what I say to people in public because I would just be a s so many hurtful things. I just tossed money on him like e. I still continue my day to day. If we won, If I had 10 million would continue my day to day. I would just pay off all my debt.
I would I would live stress free. I would probably be a troll. I would probably just be absolute in my inability to accept stupidity. And I would spend the rest of my days arguing I was I was kind of thinking like successfully when you said you’d say hurtful things to public. I would be like, Well, what is a public? They would never see me. I’m being actual troll man would be in my mansion. Everything ran to me. That’s funny. So all right, well, I guess you know the moral of this story is Ah, Herman, you need to dream, big man.
I think I’ll get back there. I think once I get some shit accomplished, I’ll get there like that. You live in your dream, though, is pretty cool well, and me and the kids talk about that often. Yeah, so they get to see it. They get to see the hard work and they get to see the fruits of a lot of hard labor and a lot of reading. Payoff. Are you setting the bar too low for their dreams that I don’t think so, man, Because like they’re having mawr, it’s practical, right?
Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m saying. But it still allows me to not push things on them, and they so, like what I had said a long time ago. I’m like, you know, our kids are also watching us grow up while we’re watching them grow up, and it’s like, Well, what is the lesson that they’re learning? So they’re learning that hard work pays off, education pays off and we discuss things all the time. So like in those car rides, you know, the 25 minutes into, there’s nothing better we get to break down the day and make them better.
People quite car rides is sometimes better. Absolutely, absolutely. Or a five minute commute with the kids. Hey, how’s it going? All right, Have a good day. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I just think that whether it’s in parenting or whether it is with your friends or whether it is in business like you need to encourage dreamers, you need to, um you need to not not put that fire out. But you need to figure out how to keep that fire roaring because the world needs more dreamers. The the challenge will be to take those dreams and turn them into reality.
And as good leaders, whether it’s over family, whether it was within our peer group, whether it’s within our business dreams are meant to be, um, turned into, um, monuments and new improvements. And so we just need to kind of just make sure that we’re pushing those things and not not stopping those dreams out, at least without not getting more information. Like, sometimes I think you have to have really conversations. I’m not saying don’t don’t have come to Jesus meetings with people, but I think that, um sometimes were very quick to be pessimistic because we don’t believe.
And it’s not about what we believe. It’s what Get people to believe in themselves. Yeah, and I’m going through that right now. Uh, with the homie, I want to start a company. And I’m Mr Pessimist. Uh, you know, on our on our calls, I’m always, you know, the devil’s advocate. I’m not trying to shoot down the dream. I’m just trying to make it as realistic and successful as possible because I’ve, you know, I’ve seen a lot of startups have big dreams and and crash and burn or pivot and simplify.
And so I think it comes down to, you know, who’s the audience? How much constructive criticism or realism can they take to still continue on their path? Um, if you’re gonna be that catalyst for dreams, Um and I think I’m pretty good at doing that. But the inspiration and the encouragement I think of what you said is the most important piece because we do need more dreamers. You look at Elon Musk. You know, he had four goals, four dreams, you know, he wanted to. He wanted toe.
You know, create renewable energy. He wanted Thio create a, you know, an electric car or whatever. Um, he wanted to go establish a colony on Mars. That’s one of his dreams, bro. When I first heard that it was I was like, Who is this dude like? All right. Next. But as he starts to get closer and closer to that dream, me, along with a lot of more people are starting said, Oh, shit. Like that’s what dreaming big looks like. And now he is the richest person in the world.
And that’s what, like that is that’s it. Because if you if your dream is to put a colony on Mars and you land on putting a colony on the moon exactly like that’s that’s it. And they say shoot for the moon and had a couple stars.
t the end of the okay. He was working for civil and economic. Can’t imagine. I can’t imagine him telling credit the bus it, but But I’m just gonna stop. There are their EC. Is there an economic advantage to dancing a certain way? Like what I’m saying? If he’s about economic rights and you know things that we might not be Whatever. But when you see a music video and you’re like, Oh, that person is doing things that he might not agree with However, no bto hey, did not hey did not die for Magic City or tip drill King of Diamonds video on Bt late night or he did not die for black villain Oh, does go down in history next to em. Okay, but oh, man, the road this’ll episode took a turn, not die for what that thing smell like. Oh, man, Oh, man, where is the not record? But no way it is. It’s just interesting, you know, as we sit here 53 years after he’s passed almost. Um, it is very interesting to sit back and just think about you know, where we are today and where we still need to go. Um, but I think overall there’s a lot of blessings out there, and we owe that man a great deal. Absolutely, man. Absolutely. And I think it czar duty to doom or to be more diligent and to, you know, push his legacy. You know, I’m gonna I’m gonna say it again. I’m reading one of his his last books. Where do we go from here? And it’s just what paid you on. Oh, you know that. You know, I’m inaudible, Subscriber. Oh, my bad dammit! You reading my listening. But e thought this was a safe space e. But But no, no real talk guys like we have we have to think about. We have to be conscious. We have to be more conscious about how do we how do we extend his legacy? Because it’s getting lost. Like if you look at all this shit, the bullshit that’s going on on social media like it’s getting lost, There’s a lot of there’s a lot of crap going on out there that Z claiming the black name or that black African American man or the black woman like it is a lot of noise. It’s a lot of bullshit, and we do have to do our job, um, to declare, if I what we are about as a people, what we strive to achieve as faras equity and equality and inclusion in this in this country, Um and we just have to be more conscious about it. But the the fellas around this table I could say that I’m very proud about what you guys, what we have accomplished and what who we are as people and the people that have raised us. You know, they did a good job, man. Yeah. Thank you. Man. I really appreciate that. I think that we have Ah, one thing about 1968 versus 2000 and 21 is that our voice was centralized. There were very few vessels for us. And now in 2021 everybody’s a vessel. And it’s just up to us to understand those principle of yesteryear, understand the struggle, understand the journey, and put things in the atmosphere that progresses forward and connect to the future that we need to create for for those after us, absolutely three generations. That’s my message for this week. Let’s get it.
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